December day

I don't have to go to my job today, and that leaves for a lot of contemplation time.
Here I am, living in New York City. One of my girlhood goals fulfilled. My debut at the Bitter End is this Sunday night. What will come of it? I don't know. Nothing's really "happened" yet with the music career in NYC. If the gig turns ouut to be inconsequential, I'll be a little depressed. I realize, though, that my success here in that area depends on a mix of factors, and though luck is one, greater parts are hard work and determination (holy cow, cliche).

But as I sit around here in my apartment today, sort of straightening things up, vegging, and watching a DVD, I start to wonder if I can somehow, by my lifestyle, force a greater work ethic and sense of motivation. What I fantasize about doing sometimes is just hitting the road and playing gigs anywhere I have a personal connection, and there are a few places on that list: Grand Rapids (of course), Minneapolis, south-central Minnesota, rural coastal Washington state :), western Wisconsin, Nashville, Phoenix, parts of Chicago. Oh, but I don't have a car anymore, that's right. And I don't have money to do it. Well, not unless I were to expend my savings...

Just thinking aloud here. Life has been full and busy lately. Funny how one empty day off can get me thinking I need change. I can be very shortsighted sometimes.

But touring would be so awesome. I'll still dream about that.